And So I've Learned the Meaning of the Sun
by Teliko. x3
Summary: He knew exactly where'd she be.


**And So I've Learned the Meaning of the Sun**

**Rating: It's fine.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own CSI or the characters. Sadly.**

**Summary: He knew exactly where'd she be.**

**A/N: GRILLOWS! GRILLOWS PEEPS! I'm BACK! Gosh, I missed you guys so damn much. -hugs all- But I'm back. -cries- I'm BACK!**

**Okay, this is my take on what Catherine did for New Years. I still can't believe she's leaving. -sobs- Also, listen to the song Sleep by Azure Ray and Blackout by Breathe Carolina. They helped to inspire this.**

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><p>The bright colors flashed across her face as she sat back against her patio chair with a drink in her hand. Even with the slight chill outside, the thick jacket she had on was no match for the cold. It was a jacket she would never throw out, no matter how old it was. With every loud, muffled bang that went off before a beautiful display of colors, she would snuggle more into the jacket and breathe in the scent that still lingered in the fabric. Twelve years ago, Gil Grissom had given this jacket to her at a crime scene when she had forgotten hers at the lab. The velcro strip that had his last name stitched in white thread was still firmly attached to it's spot. She had taken good care of it. He had never asked for it back after that night.<p>

Spending holidays alone wasn't nearly as bad as it had been before, especially when Lindsey was only just a little girl. But now, she was twenty years old and had friends, a boyfriend, a life. She knew she could always rely on her co-workers to put her in a better mood, but with this being their first real night off, she didn't want to bother them.

Catherine brought the glass of vodka and orange juice to her lips, took a slow, satisfying sip, and watched as a combination of blue, purple, pink, and white played out before her eyes. Even as she watched the fireworks and allowed herself to become distracted, she knew she wasn't alone now.

–

Gil Grissom stood on the doorstep of Catherine's house, holding the key to the door gently between his fingers. She had given him his key almost twelve years ago and he had made sure to hold on to it. He had made it back into the city just a few hours ago and had went to see Sara right away, although there was someone he was a little more interested in seeing. Sara was fine, and happy, but had promised they'd spend more time together after she went out with her friends, the original grave shift gang.

Even before unlocking her door, he knew exactly where she'd be. She did this every time. He could feel a small smile play on his lips as he unlocked the door and let himself in quietly, shutting the door gently once he stepped into her living room. The kitchen came into view shortly and the smile grew bigger when he saw the familiar brand of alcohol and orange juice sitting on her counter. He passed the counter and went straight for the glass doors that led to her back patio.

He could see the top of her head over the patio chair and by now, he was fully smiling. He slowly pulled back one part of the glass door and stepped onto her wooden deck.

"Back so soon," she called out from where she sat in her chair, already knowing it was Gil who was currently standing behind her chair. He could detect the slight sarcasm in her voice and pulled out another chair to sit next to her. The first thing he noticed when he sat down was his, or should he say her, jacket. Slowly, he reached out with steady fingers to pass them over his stitched name.

"You still have it," he said, keeping his eyes glued to the white 'Grissom' that rested above her breast, over her heart.

"Of course I do," she answered back, keeping her eyes on the fireworks and taking another sip of her drink. It wasn't until she heard him whisper her name. She turned her head slowly, letting her eyes pass over his worn face. He looked a little different. The stress that had once consumed his features had seemed to fade away and he looked content. "You heard, didn't you," she asked suddenly, seeing the concern on his face. "Who told you," she asked, turning in her chair and setting her drink down on the glass patio table.

"I didn't come here to convince you to stay," he informed her, letting his fingers drop from the jacket finally. "I came here to see you," he started, but realized how intimate it sounded and added on. "And everyone else." When he finished, he saw her expression change. "But mostly you." She laughed at his uncertainty.

"You were never good at that," she pointed out, reaching for her glass again. "Saying what you really mean." She raised the glass. "Want one?" He nodded.

"I would, actually." Her smile returned and she moved from her chair, going back into the kitchen only for a moment to make him a drink. When she returned, she presented him with two full glasses- one for her and one for him. He accepted the glass in her left hand and nodded his thanks. As his first sip passed over his tongue and went smoothly down his throat, he licked his lips and observed the drink she had just made. "Hasn't changed a bit."

Before she had sat down, she had moved her chair a little close to his, set to where they could both watch the fireworks and talk comfortably without either one of them having to raise their voices above a whisper.

He knew she didn't want to talk about her decision to leave. He knew all too well what was going through her head- he had experienced it himself not long ago. He wasn't so sure he would be able to give her good advice when it came to leaving anyway.

"Do you remember the time we caught Greg dancing in the lab with the show dancer's outfit," she asked, her lips on the rim of her glass, a small laugh emitting from her pale lips. He had to chuckle at the image that she had suddenly brought up in his mind.

"Do you recall the man we found stuck in the concrete?" Laughter shook her body and caused her to pull the glass away from her mouth, then lean over in her chair, towards his shoulder where her head rested comfortably for a moment. He looked down at her. This woman had been by his side for the past fifteen years and when he decided to leave her behind, along with the rest of his family, he knew he would never let himself live it down. Now that she was leaving, all he wanted to do was beg her to stay; to stay here in Las Vegas where he knew he could find her.

"Oh, why'd we choose to leave," she asked in a disappointed voice, recalling all the precious memories of the two of them working together. "We were a family, Gil."

"And the children are all grown up," he said into her ear softly. A sudden cringe rocked Catherine's body and she pulled away slowly, sitting straight up in her chair. She tucked a piece of hair behind her ears and pulled her knees up to her chest, her tiny boot-clad feet fitting perfectly onto her chair.

"Did you get a chance to see them," she asked, referring to the people they had both worked with and formed a second family with over the last fifteen years. "Greg has grown up so much. And Nick," their names left her smiling. "Nick is so handsome and intelligent. When I look at him," her voice trailed off and she was looking at him again. "I see you, sometimes."

He looked up to match her intimate stare. The fireworks above them lighting up both of their faces, which were inches apart.

"Where are you going to go," he asked.

"I'll know when I get there," she answered back, her eyes sweeping across his parted lips. "How did you know where you were going?"

A moment of silence passed between them, the only noise coming from the fireworks being set off from the house behind Catherine's. The same family that insisted on setting off the fireworks began to count down to 2012.

They had seconds left, but neither Gil or Catherine budged.

"I thought about what my best friend would do," he answered, nothing but honesty coming from his expression.

The family in the background cheered as 2012 arrived.

She could feel the corner of her eyes grow cold as her tears surfaced. It was a new year. It was a new opportunity.

She knew he wouldn't mind.

Leaning in again, she kept her eyes on him to make sure it wasn't making him uncomfortable. He sat perfectly still, anticipating the moment her lips would meet his. She stopped just barely away from kissing him and found him tilting his head slightly to meet her halfway in the kiss.

They both knew this would always stay between them. Just them. As everything had always been.

She gripped the armrest of her patio chair and pushed herself just the small space until her lips touched his in an innocent kiss. Neither one of them were sure if the fireworks they were witnessing were just flashbacks of the images they had watched together or not.

She knew she needed to pull away. He knew he needed to end the kiss in order for it to be 'just a kiss'. But neither one of them moved.

She was the one to pull away and end the kiss. She saw the color instantly drain from his face when the cold air occupied where her lips had once been.

"Happy New Year, Gil," she whispered, passing her tongue over her bottom lip before pulling it between her teeth.

"Happy New Year, Catherine."

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><p><strong>AN: Sorry for any grammar mistakes. I'm just really excited to finally get a Grillows story out to you guys after being away for so long.**


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